Midwest Crazies

I'm not sure what it is about this town. Perhaps it's a symptom of being taught to always put on a happy face.

But we get some crazy phone calls here. I mean, crazier than I've ever seen. Crazy people who call 20-30 times per day and demand the most asinine things.

For example, today I was a pimp. A man called (I later found out he's a regular caller) and wanted a toll-free number for a chat phone line. So he can talk to women. He didn't understand that none of them are truly free because businesses like to make money. When I couldn't find what he wanted he called me prejudiced. My reply was, "You think I'm prejudiced against people who call on the phone?" ha.

The other crazies:

A woman who knows all the staff by name and calls the information desk every morning to find out where people are working that day. Then she calls the staff person of her choice and asks for random things, like the phone number of a doctor in Los Angeles.

A woman who likes to tie up more than one phone line at a time. She'll ask a question but when we put her on hold she has a way to call on a second line and ask a different person the same question. She's very easily angered too.

A retired minister (or so he says) who kept me on the phone for 10 minutes preaching about Jesus and how the rapture is coming. Soon. Like maybe tomorrow.

A copy editor who calls with grammar questions 4-5 times a day. We all agree that she should know more than us. She's a copy editor.

A "writer" who asks opinion-based questions about her writing. Which do you like better, "I handed the cat some food" or "I gave some food to the cat"?

Of course, these are just the phone crazies. But they seem to have embraced the anonymity of the telephone and seem a bit more crazy than the people in the building.

I'm having a hell of a week as a prejudiced pimp.